From his office in a waste recycling
bin, the Spartan King, ‘Leonidas’ Tsipras, made an historic announcement – that
after three hundred days of severe financial hardship, riots, suicides and
unpaid taxes, he had secured a stunning victory over the EU, Chancellor von
Merkel, the Troika, Queen Elsa, Frodo Baggins and the Persians. As from next
week the people of Sparta will be subjected to unprecedented austerity and slavery
for at least a thousand years.
Varoufuckedoffopolus, the general
in charge of the treasury, said it was Sparta’s greatest victory since the Wehrmacht
entered Athens in 1941.
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| Steve Sack |
UPDATE:
An EU spokesperson said the
decision to subject Greece to a thousand years of austerity will only serve to strengthen
democracy and prosperity throughout Europe.
Another EU spokesperson has confirmed
that Sepp Blatter will become President for Life.
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